A little about me.

Many things about me,
if you aren't lookin out
you'll never see
like the way i
tend to shy back
and hide
from my insecurities

In the mirror at home
when I'm alone i see
beauty
i see
humility i see
my anger,rage and helplessness
i see
my selfishness
my unwillingness to settle for less
my search for the best
and knowing that along the way I will
struggle, stumble and fall
I'll falter afraid of failure
not knowing

failure makes millionaires
Failure teaches patience and strength
the ability to conquer the rest
failure is the prequal to success
its striving for the best
its falling short only to
stand up taller
it
makes broke men ballers
failure builds character and
breeds new ideas
if you take take that message
through the tears
move forward an conquer those fears

Failure made me who i am
the girl who don't need a man
but likes to be held
who writes pages of poems
often mis spelled
because I am not perfect
but perfection seeks me
it knocks on my door
leaves quick love notes on my floor
romancing my curiosity
so that I always want more
so that I don't take that first offer
because there's usually something better
elusive perfection makes me a go- getter

it makes me run faster, jump higher
it sets my whole world on fire
trying to obtain that which is
unattainable
still i strain and try
and i'm usually able to
best myself
do better than me
cause when I look in the mirror
My reflection is still the only one I see.

A Poets Seduction

"Girl, I'm going work it out on you so good
bang your back out so bad
like you always wished a dude would!
I'll have you cummin from foreplay
lickin down low tongue play"

He gave me images like these
say'in he'd have me down on my knees
panties wet
leaving me thoroughly pleased
that he'd touch all the right spots
show me just what he got

Body bangin like
LL i fell under his spell
kept imagining being up under him
while he was doin it... doin it well.
body rock
somebody trying to knock these boots
pulling hair from the roots
tasting the fruits
of my very existance
what is his preference?


He is a poet, using lyrical seduction
step by step instruction
in Kama Sutra and the intimate arts
his words pulled at my heart
and impassioned my groin
wet my inner thighs with his voice
sweat on my brow
he leaves me no choice

I am a poet
and I respond with verse
I want him to love me first
kiss me with passion fire and desire
take me somewhere higher

reach beyond the physical means
give me
metaphysical romance
archaic substance
dream life reality
can he really handle me?

I can take this
out side of the box
if he has the KEY
to my LOCK
if he can
make my heart STOP
then he can claim my spot

He is a poet
matching the cadence of my flow
perfectly tracing the ratio
of breasts to hips
of eyes to lips
and if he sips
the sweetness of my pantheon
i shall be drawn in
by a gifted poet
and his
pussy poem.

If only I were a Blonde
If I was tall and blonde I bet you would love mestatuesque long legs big chestif i was beach barbieperched on 6 six inch stilettosif i'd never lived in the ghetto


But i am just over five foot i say things like... "It's all good"and i wish a dude would...I'm kinda short and thicki walk with a mean switchdon't got no d's my chest is c'sbut they're real tho
If i was drivin a mustang with aconveritble topbumpin fergies glamourous non-stopif i bleached my long dark lockswould you see me then?


If daddy was a banker and mommy was a house wife then could i be apart of your life?If my street address was somewhere in the hills like beverly instead of baldwin would you call then?


You said i was the wife type the larger than life type so why then did you buy into the blonde hair blue eyed hype?how could you leave me and your child?
They always told me to never trust6 pack abs and a smile.

Substance

substance.
the man has substance
he can conversate and
articulate
and......... kiss
for god's sake
that gentle kind of
lips barely brushing
lingering
no rushing
that soft and sweet
feelings run deep
kind of kiss.

I can't help but think
these erotic thoughts
when he speaks i'm lost
staring at the curve of his mouth
eyes traveling further down south
as i canvass his 6'4 frame
I wonder in the back of my mind
if he can tame

This beast in me, the libra, the lover
the freak in me
see he's keepin me on my toes got me
dreaming about trading blows
round for round until the knockout
either him or me you see

It can be only one left standing
and when i do what i do
i'm a champion
I mean I go for broke so
put your money on me you'll see
proposition bets and all that
i'm the ball to his bat
lets connect and hit it out the park
letsjust have you dig me out in the dugout
until after dark

I can't help but think these erotic thoughts
when he speaks i'm lost
watching him flirt with eyes filled with anticipation
of bedroom relations
him i and i and him
in his eyes i see no hesitation
he's waiting
for when the time is right
deep into the night
when morning is near
he'll whisper in my ear and say...

"Shawwwwwwtttaaayy I hope you ready"
his voice is low and heavy
his lips meet my neck
I'm shaking unsteady
he says "I'm a scorpio King, if you know what that means,
an undercover freak I'm not what I seem.
I adore a lover who can go on forever
lace and leather
darlin this night we'll cum together.
I mean, we will come together as one
this has just begun you and I and I and you
no limits no holds no bars on what we can do."


Then he
lowered his face to undo buttons with teeth
finding nothing underneath
he seeked and found my chest so bare
we leave lights on to see ourselves reflected
we have time to get it right, perfect it.
Music is playing internally
externally my body readys itself
anticipating lovemaking that never comes.

You see.. we being grown him and
i attracted on a level higher than sex
decided to shut it down before we took it too far
and forgot who we are
and what we'd set out for
to take the time and
get to know each other a little more
we embraced our passion could have just
let it happen
but where would be?
he and I and I and him
but no we.

Substance. The man has substance
he knows how to
think with his head instead of his dick
can't be so
easily seduced with a lick he...
likes to politic and talk big things
like hopes wishes and dreams he
is made of the finer things
well bred
mild mannered
and easygoing so I left his house knowing
my friend can conversate
and articulate
he'd be
well worth the wait

Cory Sin

Photo by: Cory Graphics by: Tiare

Dedicated to a King

You are a King,more than anything.

When I look at you I see peace and wedding rings

That diamond ring is the only thing i'd ever put before my mother,with this ring you become more than my lover.

You are my best friend. It's clichéd but its till the end.

I can't wait to spend my whole life making you better,

because building you up to be strong will only strengthen our bond. And our union will stand the test of time and beyond.

You are a King and even I bow at your feet. Eager to please longing for your touch And the weakness it brings.

As your queen I stand at times behind you because I urge you forward and I am the hand that guides you.

So proud you stand knowing your role as a man, you command respect and you get it and you give it. Its your rule your responsibility you live it.You are a King and to me you represent my joy. You are not just my homie, my friend or my "boy".

Your stature is royal I give you every piece and part of me,Heart, soul, body & mind because I'm loyal.

Dreams of you and I someday sittin side by side on that throne Making our separate houses a home, knowing that we can but don't want to do this alone. If you should bless me with one proud prince I promise you this,I will raise him with your strength and pride, All doubts aside in you I confide one wish.

You are a King and I will treat you as such I can love you deep and long until you cant get enough.

Don't just give me your all, Give me your best That is my only wish,God will cover the rest.

Gena @ Soul City's "The Basement"

Sex Metaphors Galore

Intense is the pressure on the upper inside of my thighs caused by you

reaching roughly for the prize.

The tremble and shake in my voice

surprises even me when I speak .

Is it pure lust that you seek or

something like love intricately deep?

With a hand on my hip you lower your face

To sip from my gracious cup of that sugar, honey sweet tea.

Now flowing freely from the depths of my body.

Feeding your soul and dripping down thirsty lips

Straining under your grip

If you don't let me go now before I begin to scream....u may

drown.

Don't go drowning before u can put in work,

Stop all this lovey sweet n soft and really....

Make it hurt.

I mean don't get me wrong I love the softer side of things

But right now I'm open and ready for you,

to make every inch of my temple sing

and praise the heavens so loud we bring the walls crashing down

Come on baby make proud.

Pretend we're in the 4th quarter with like 2 seconds on the clock.

That defining moment that makes hearts stop.

The ball is in your competent hands so just shoot! And score!

Bring me victory on my knees like I'm your coach

And this is our first win in years, that's right baby bring

me to tears.

Rock my world, float my boat make me wear your sweat as my coat.

Let's get it so wet in here the guy downstairs thinks a pipe done broke up here.

Gimme that long stroke from the side,

Work me like its your job on the line got a goal we gotta meet and hit the deadline.

Appeal to my sensual side

When were comin down from our amorous high be gentle when you release

me my heart now beats with yours and completes me. Lust exists now on

the other side of no where near us, this was love intricately

intertwined stroke after stroke you let ur love flow deep and now it

rests inside of me and we fall into a intimate sleep.

A Fallen Love.

Now that I am no longer grieving the loss of a relationship that I once thought to be perfect, I can sit back and see my situation through new eyes. The eyes of the old me, the part of me that I lost when I entered into my ill fated union. Although he has caused me to suffer something awful, and caused me more pain than I have ever known, I am still thankful for the experience because I learned things about myself that I would not have otherwise known. For one, that I am much less selfish than I thought. I used to worry that I would never be able to love someone as much as I did him, that I was too selfish to consider the needs and wants of someone else before my own. It made me question my future abilities to be a future wife and mother. Would I ever know truly what sacrifice of self was? Well now I do, because I loved him with ever fiber of my body, every beat of my heart and each piece of my soul. There was nothing that I wouldn't do to see him smile and keep him happy. I bent over backwards to make sure that every thing he needed was taken care of and I catered to his every desire. I totally threw out all notions that I'd ever had of love before I met him.

I was completely taken by his charm and sweetness, so taken that I couldn't see the darker side at first. I ignored the signs that something was not right, and I believed him when he told me he'd love me forever. How naiive we can be. The only thing I ever asked of him was that should his heart ever change and he didn't love me the same way, that he tell me so that I could move on and neither of us waste any more time. I put up with constant calls and texts from his ex who he claims is crazy , and although she may be a little off the rocker looking at it now I can see that some of the things he said of her just simply isn't true. I was the ever patient and loving girlfriend. I carried the burdens of his problems on my already laden shoulders. Every argument ended in tears, mine of pain and his of rage and each time he'd end up crying in my lap begging me to forgive him and not to leave him. Him telling me he needed me and cherished my love and asking me not to give up on him. Where he was weak I was strong I held our fragile relationship together with the hope that time would heal our wounds.

When I found out that he cheated on me the thing that upset me the most was that he violated the only thing I'd ever asked of him. To break up with me before he ever laid hands or heart on another woman. Poised to walk out the door for good that night he dropped to his knees with tears streaming down his handsome face asking me for my hand. He told me then that he did not know why he had done what he did, that he did not love this other woman and that the stress of his life had him caught up. He told me that I was the only one he loved and wanted to marry me and give me children. I loved him so much that I said yes. I accepted, I believed that this time he was sincere. After the fact I found out that the very day after his proposal he was on the phone with this other woman again. Spending hours at a time talking to her. He said she refused to talk to him, that he couldn't even reach her to tell her that it was over and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I am two years older than his 22 years yet still so inexperienced and trusting. I believed him. Things were strained leading up to the time he was to leave for the weekend but up until that day I dropped him at the airport I had trust in him and faith in our relationship. I hugged his father good bye and kissed him and wished him luck and watched him in effect walk out of my life forever. We barely spoke that whole weekend and he found little things to argue with me about. While he was gone I found phone records and messages that proved my biggest fear, yes he was still talking to this female, excessively. When confronted he refused to talk about it and said that we would deal with it when he got home , so I waited with fear heavy in my heart. The day he touched vegas soil again I would not take no for an answer when he asked if we could deal with this when his father went home. Yes… he admitted he was still with this other girl and he decided that he wanted to be with her. My tears ran heavy and my cries were loud enough for the neighbors to hear. I was not crying because I did not want to lose him, I was crying from the pain of his betrayal and my own naievity.

If that is not bad the worse part is in the following days he called and called and we talked and he begged me not to disappear from his life, saying he still needed me and that he knew he had made the wrong decision. I allowed him to string me on for days and even weeks before I grew tired and weak. I felt bad for his new girlfriend, even though she had known about me when they got together because I know how strong his charm can be. I didn't blame her for seeing the same things in this man that I did. My breaking point came when I realized I still lay in the bed that he now shares with her that he was still kissing me with the same lips. I felt cheaper than ever in that moment. We agreed to work on a platonic friendship but he still raged with jealousy when confronted by the fact that someday soon I would be dating again. That subject brought out the beast in him and he threatened the lives of any future lovers. He is so fragile and unstable that I tried every thing I could to keep the peace with him until the day he went off when I didn't answer my phone and demanded that I allow him to read my emails. "if you have nothing to hide, then whats the problem?" he repeated over and over. No matter how much I reminded him that I am no longer his to claim and "protect". He said then that he still loved me like I was his and that would never change. I finally gave into my gut feeling and told him that I was done, that I could go on like this no longer and I felt used and abused and I'd done all I could for him. He hung up with the promise to never call again. Its been three days and he hasn't called yet but I do believe that he will. But I learned that my concern for his safety and his feelings cost me the validity of mine. It was me who was betrayed lied to and cheated on yet I allowed him to make me feel guilty for not picking up his calls or no longer telling him that I loved him.

In the beginning I though the sting would never subside but it's been a month and it's fading. I still care for him and worry about him but I have decided I will no longer let him run my life and override my own safety and well being. I love myself too much for that. I realize that without self love I can not continue to love someone else. This relationship though brief was the hardest lesson in love that I ever learned and the lesson was this. Love takes time. Only time can reveal character flaws in a person and only with time can you know someone enough to know that they truly love you. I still give my trust but not without hesitation any more. I know that some day somebody will come to me with nothing but pure and true intentions I just pray to god that this has not shaded my view on the subject and that I will recognize love when it is before me. For now I am just thankful for the clarity this situation has afforded me.

Experimenting with photoshop again.

Self Reflection

Sometimes Thighs Like this just make you see Red!!

I wear my Heart on the rearview mirror of my car.